Screw You, I Don't Follow Standards - I Can Turn Passion To A Living Without Asking For Assitance

it’s weird how it’s socially acceptable to put someone else’s genitals in your mouth but eating a dorito off the floor after a few seconds is gross what a fuckin double standard

it’s so weird how grapes don’t really taste like anything on the outside. like if you just put a grape in your mouth it doesn’t have a taste. but then you bite down and you’re like whoa. that’s a grape

my thoughts during school

me: why

me: i wonder when my teacher lost their virginity

me: what if a man with a gun walked in right now

me: the fuck is this

me: why are you here

me: what if i stood up on the desk and ripped off my pants

my most popular textpost has like 5 notes.. am i really that unattractive or what

i want that kind of relationship where you wake up next to each other and it’s nice and peaceful and your partner just smiles to you and kisses you on the lips before softly whispering “What’s up you meme loving fuck?”

do you ever just realise you have no friends

Explaining why I love my girl is like explaining what water tastes like

accidentally ignores all of my friends for 6 weeks

I’ve forgotten how to love,or be loved because of you.

Right when I felt like my heart was healing and fixed, it gets shattered into a million pieces again, beyond bummed out…

Can we please establish something
You shouldn’t get anything for being a nice person. Thats just being human. The “friend zone” is bullshit.

Women arent fucking vending machines. You cant put in kindness coins until sex falls out.

i specialize in wearing different variations of the same basic outfit every day

When a girl replies with “aww thanks” it means shes politely asking you to return to the friend zone that you just tried to escape from.

me at family parties
• “who even are these people”
• “lets play a game called guess the wifi password”
• “yes i am really this tall”
• “can we leave now”
• “free food holla”
• “im really bad at guessing wifi passwords”

i wish tumblr showed how many people viewed your post so you could work out how many users scrolled past your post without liking it and then find out where they live